I have: part 2

Have you ever trusted another human being, and quite possibly loved them with everything you had? I have.

Have you ever had said human being screw you over so bad you thought your life was over? I have.

Have you ever spent two years grieving over the loss of your first love and high school sweetheart? I have.

Have you tried to move on from that? Thought you did, and become happy again? Only to be screwed over 5x harder? I have.

Have you ever had someone who you considered a best friend leave? As in take everything important to him, pack it up and leave without saying a word to you? And you only found out through his mom? I have.

Have you ever been SOOOOO excited for a concert only to find out your tickets were sold 7 hours before said concert is to start because above boy left and no one knew where he was? I have.

Have you ever had your car broken into? I have.

Have you ever pricked your finger 7 times in one day just to confirm your still alive? I have.

Yes, this is a downer post but the past month has been a downer. I have been thrown my fair share of challenges, trials, and changes. Nick leaving rocked my world (and not in a good way). I still remember the words "Lacy, Nick's gone" coming out of his mom's mouth and the way it hurt. I immediately felt frightened, angry, worried, and betrayed all at the same time. Did you know it's possible to feel those four emotions at the same time? I do. I know this is soooo last week, but I cannot grasp what happened. Why would he do that? How could he do that?

They say ignorance is bliss, but I think that is the furthest thing from the truth. I prefer communication. When me and Spencer broke up it was because he started to ignore me. When me and Cory broke up it was because he started to ignore me. And when me and Nick broke up, you know the story, it's because he left. He ignored me. Tell me what is blissful about that? Don't get me wrong, my relationship with these three boys (yes you heard me right, boys) was doomed to fail. BUT the breakup would have been easier on me had there been honesty and communication involved. A simple, "Lacy you suck at life and I'm plain sick of your high-maintenance attitude and neediness" would have hurt a whole lot less than nothing at all. Those of you who know me, know that I am beyond a worry-wart! I still wonder what the heck happened and why it ended and I will think and think and think about that until I a. have to take a valum to calm the heck down or b. puke my guts up.

So on top of all of that, my car got broken into. It's such a horrible feeling knowing that someone not only touched MY stuff, but took it and claimed it as theirs. The worst part of that whole thing, next to the fear, was the smell. They smoked (seriously) two packs of cigarettes in my car and left their butts in my cup holders and sprinkled around my car. Let me tell you, the smoke smell is NOT easy getting out of your car. A whole bottle of Febreeze, a vacuum job, thorough cleaning, an air freshener and vinegar cup later; I am happy to report my car no longer smells like cigarette smoke, but sort of like salad dressing. Granted this is probably from the vinegar, but hey it was a tip I was given and I am in no room to turn down advice. I will stop whining for a sec and say that I am BEYOND lucky nothing of worth to me was taken and that my car [besides the smell] is a-ok! Man, I love GOD!

And lastly, diabetes. Sometimes I swear it has a mind of its own. I eat right (low carb/high proten and fiber) and my blood sugar is still beyond low. I eat 6 meals a day and my sugar is still beyond low. I don't get it..but I do know I am extremely lucky I do not suffer from Type 1. There is always someone who is worse off than you, and I know that. I am beyond grateful for what I DO have. I've just been dealt a heavy dose of ugly lately and I needed to vent it out.

Pity party over. Good Night.

P.s speaking of people who have it worse off than me, little kids with cancer:( August 20th Hot Dog on a Stick (my LOVELY place of work) is donating $.25 to Alex's Lemonade Stand from every large lemonade purchase. Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation supports the research of childhood cancer. Tomorrow (as in August 20th) is National Lemonade day, and what better way to celebrate than with a freshly squeezed large lemonade!? I should also mention they'll donate ANOTHER $.25 if you "like" them from the 20-22. Do it! I am a cancer survivor myself, and a million percent support this! As my dear friend Stacey (aka Miss Murray) would say, Pay it 4ward and dooo it:)