My Life Will Never Be The Same.

I spent the last two days at a beautiful school called Kauri Sue Hamilton. It is a special education school with an entire student body of special needs kids. They are beautiful, and wonderful, and SMART!


Of course it was sad.

Of course it was hard.

But it was great!


I was reading through some of the kids' charts to find out a little more about who they are and where they come from. Keep in mind there are 12 students in my class. At least two of them had the same beginnings as me. For example, my mom had an uneventful pregnancy (like their moms). An even uneventful labor (like their moms) until the epidural. She then when into cardiac arrest and all hell broke loose. She was without oxygen, I was without oxygen (just like those kiddos). For how long? We don't know. I would have to pull my [ancient:)] chart to find out. Point is, I started my life not breathing. I lived my first weeks in the NICU. Just like some of my kids. Only difference is, I'm independent and they're not. I started out just like some of these kids and I'm OK and they're not.


WHAT?????????????


What makes me so special? Did I get oxygen faster than them? Did I just luck out? My life could have easily been different and hard. Much much harder. But it's not. I don't know if it's because God had other plans for me, or if He knew my parents would not be able to handle raising a special needs child. I guess I'll never know. But I AM pretty sure I was supposed to get sent to that school and that classroom. Because my life will never be the same. I don't think a day in my life will go by that I don't think of that school and my kids and the teachers there.

It was just such a great experience coming out of my OB rotation. I worked with babies in the NICU who may very well grow up having special needs because of their pre-mature births. This put a whole new perspective on things. While you're in the NICU you are just celebrating them being alive and oxygenating, but what you don't realize is they may have a much bigger challenge ahead of them. By looking at my babies in the NICU, you wouldn't be able to tell anything was "wrong with them." They look just like the "normal" babies in the nursery, only smaller. Unfortunately you can't diagnose developmental delays until they actually start developing. I wonder if some of the babies I worked with are destined for this life?

You can tie your shoes, and see, and brush your teeth, and go to the bathroom, and laugh, and talk, and express yourself, and eat food. Normal food, in your mouth. You can drive, and learn, and formulate thoughts, and push buttons, and roll over. ALL BY YOURSELF. These are never really things I thought of as "blessings" (I bet you didn't either) before KS. I mean evvveryone has those abilities, right? Count your blessings, no matter how small they seem because there are cute, cute, angel babies that I know who would love to do those things!!!

Final thought, I hope there is a secretary in heaven who keeps track of all these wonderful people I've met. I can't wait to dance and laugh with them, and learn with them. What a glorious day that will be:)